


Hard To Breathe

by GaHoolianGirl



Series: A Warden and his Assassin [14]
Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: As in they TALK about stuff like consent, Bittersweet, Consent Issues, Heart-to-Heart, M/M, Past Sexual Abuse, Relationship Discussions, This is before they admit their feelings end game, Zev has a sad past but they move forward together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-10-31 15:31:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10902204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GaHoolianGirl/pseuds/GaHoolianGirl
Summary: In his exploration, Gideon's hand had accidentally covered Zevran’s neck, causing Zevran to flinch with the quietest of hisses.Zevran opened his arms to beckon Gideon into his embrace, and his invitation was eagerly taken. They adjusted themselves under the covers and settled down to sleep. Gideon's final thought before he slipped into the Fade for his dreams was the phantom feeling of his hand on Zevran’s neck.“Zevran, what we have goes both ways. If I do anything you don't like, I need to know.Please.”





	Hard To Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> Zevran alludes to be in some sexual situations where he very much did not consent, and as a human man (the group who most likely did this to Zev) that is an issue Gideon would have to confront, and they definitely needed to discuss it. This is my take on it. The title is alluding to the story Zev tells at the end.

It all started when Zevran flinched under Gideon's,  _e_ _rm, ministrations_. His hands wandered over the elf’s body like always, with gentle, sensuous touches desirous to bring the Antivan maximum pleasure.

But in his exploration, his hand had accidentally covered Zevran’s neck, causing Zevran to flinch with the quietest of hisses.

So Gideon stopped entirely.

“Ah...” Zevran looked up at him curiously, sighing, “Why have you-?”

“You...” Looking down at Zevran, pliant and prone under him, made it hard to resist, but above all he cared for his partner’s comfort, “I don't think tonight's good. Not feeling it like I thought I was.”

Zevran leaned up on his elbows, “Very well, though your reasons escape me. Do you want me to leave?”

Slowly feeling himself going flaccid (the idea of bringing Zevran pain (that he hadn't explicitly asked for) did the trick well enough) he shook his head, “It’s pretty late, so just stay.”

“Very well then,” Zevran opened his arms to beckon Gideon into his embrace, and his invitation was eagerly taken. They adjusted themselves under the covers and settled down to sleep. Gideon's final thought before he slipped into the Fade for his dreams was the phantom feeling of his hand on Zevran’s neck.

* * *

 "You have been agonizing all day,” Morrigan said, raising an eyebrow at Gideon's sullen face. They were at the head of the forward party, Wynne and Leliana lagging behind, and the rest of the party hung back with Bodahn and Sandal.

He dragged a hand down his face which culminated in a sigh, “I’ve been so obvious?”

“Very. Your elf has been giving you the most pained looks all day.”

“He’s not _my elf_ , Morrigan.”

“Very well. Your assassin.”

Gideon sighed, accepting the fact that he’d get no better from her, “Something happened last night that gave me cause for concern.”

Morrigan's thought process was plain on her face as she bit her lip in consideration of her next move, “What...was it?” She sounded like her mouth was full of cotton, but he appreciated the gesture.

“When we were...indulging in each other’s company last night, _please don’t look at me like that_ , I did something fairly innocuous, but he recoiled away like I’d burned him,” he ran a hand through his messy hair, “I don't want to hurt him.”

“I seem to remember him asking-”

“Well, I don't want to hurt him when he  _doesn't_ want me to!” he protested, blushing, “I think something happened in the past that's made him...sensitive in some ways.”

“Why do you not simply ask? You appear to be frank with one another, shockingly enough.”

“It’s just that feelings are not something we often discuss. At least not his-” the words left his mouth like lead as he realized what he had just said. Guilt settled into his gut as Morrigan watched his expressions transition.

“Well, I think you’ve set your own path, yes?”

“Thank you, Morrigan.”

She looked away, “You are...welcome,” she replied softly.

They continued their forward march, plans formulating in Gideon's head with each step he took.

* * *

 "Zevran,” Gideon beckoned, motioning towards himself, “Can we talk? Maybe...away from everyone?”

He had attempted to keep any hint of seduction from his voice, indicating that he meant actual discussion and not a clandestine meeting in the woods. His message seemed to have gotten across because Zevran nodded, dutifully following him.

“So last night, I didn't just stop for no reason.”

“Considering the position we were in, I was hoping it was not boredom, or I’d have to reevaluate my techniques.”

“ _Maker_ no, you do everything more than right,” he failed to keep the dreamy edge off his tone, “It wasn't because of your performance or anything. You...I...” Unable to fully express his concern in words, Gideon placed a hand against his own throat, “You seem to have a problem when I touch your neck.”

Zevran’s expression didn’t change, which worried Gideon more than if it did, “I hoped it was not something you would notice.”

“Zevran, what we have goes both ways. If I do anything you don't like, I need to know. _Please_ ,” he pleaded.

Sighing, the Antivan ran a hand through his meticulously styled hair, mussing it ever so slightly, “Once, on a job, there was a mark who, shall we say, did not know when to quit. No matter what I said, or _attempted_ to say as it were, his hands remained on my throat. His grasp kept tightening, and tightening...,” he clenched his fists, “I managed to get a knife in his back, but not before I nearly felt all the air leave my lungs. I am usually less affected by such things, but that is one day I cannot forget.”

Throughout his whole speech, Zevran had managed to keep his voice level, but he couldn’t manage to keep the emotion from his tone at the very end. Gideon could tell this was a topic the elf avoided talking about, and his heart clenched with sympathy.

“I'm sorry for making you relive that. But thank you telling me that, Zevran,” he reached a hand out, holding it to touch Zevran’s arm. He hesitated, knowing full well that some people did not like to be touched in an attempt to be comforted (he still had to apologize to Wynne). When he received a nod of consent, he lightly squeezed Zevran’s shoulder, “Your neck is off limits. Simple as that.”

The look on Zevran’s face was a clear hybrid of a multitude of feelings; relief at not having to hide it, anger at having to admit it...

“Thank you,” he finally said in a small, pained voice. Not seeing the need to dwell on it further and cause Zevran more suffering, Gideon suggested they head back.

“Everyone must be a little curious about where we are.”

“Likely. However, before you go, may I ask a question?”

“Go on ahead.”

“I am still joining you in your tent tonight, yes?”

Gideon nodded, grinning, “If you want, of course.”

Looking him up and down as if to reassess his attractiveness from the ground up, Zevran smirked, “I think I would.”

They shared a smile, all but walking back to camp hand in hand.•

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if this is an improper way to handle the subject. Thanks for reading.


End file.
